Keeping the Spark Alive: Simple Romantic Things Long-Time Couples Can Do

"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised." (Song of Solomon 8:6-7, ESV)

When you build a fire, whether to warm your home or to add a bit of ambience on a cold, winter’s night, you know you’ve got to tend to the fire to keep it going. Relationships are no different. They, too, begin with that initial spark, but you both have to tend to the relationship to keep the heat!

In our modern age, too many couples are ready to throw in the towel as soon as things begin to cool off slightly. The reality is, marriage takes dedication, focused attention, and hard work. Below are some key things that can help keep marriages strong through the years.

Keep Your Relationship with the Lord Strong

When we walk with the Lord day-by-day and submit to His guidance and gentle sculpting of us over time, we are at our best for loving our spouse and attending to his/her needs. Keep your relationship with God strong and join with your church community to keep yourself accountable in your spiritual growth. You, your spouse, and those close to you will benefit.

Schedule a Tune-Up

Like anything of value, marriage requires maintenance. Scheduling a "tune-up" with a skilled marriage counselor can help you address issues that have crept in unnoticed and rekindle the flame of intimacy and connection as you set aside time to focus on one another in the presence of an objective and skilled professional. At Covenant Counseling Center, our marriage counselor Matt Uldrich can offer valued feedback and help you unearth hidden treasures in your marriage.

Offer Your Full Attention

One of the greatest gifts of love is giving someone your attention--especially in today’s day and age, when it seems everyone has their head down, staring at their phone.

When you first fell in love, the other person was the center of your world. Has that changed over time? Do you take each other for granted?

Whether it’s to share a silly story or seek advice, be sure to always give each other your full attention. Tune in fully and engage. Ask questions and be there in the moment.

Learn Together

When the relationship begins to feel stale and old, it’s time to learn something new together. This could be joining a Bible study together, taking a ballroom dancing class, or enrolling in a cooking course. The wonderful thing is while you are learning a new skill together, you will most likely learn new things about each other. We get to a point in our relationship where we think we know everything about the other person. But people are deep, mysterious wells that take years and years to explore!

Plan Surprises

Take turns planning something fun and spontaneous for you to do each month. It could be borrowing your friend’s rooftop condo for a rooftop picnic with stunning views of the beach or downtown. Or it could be going on an overnight trip to somewhere close by that feels far away. Being spontaneous not only helps you break out of your relationship rut, it encourages you to really think of the other person and what might make them happy.

Love is not something you fall in and out of; it is a journey that both of you are on together. To stay the course, be sure to give each other your full attention, learn together, and be spontaneous!

SOURCES:

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/love-relationships/keeping-the-spark-alive/

https://www.insider.com/how-to-keep-the-spark-in-your-relationship-2017-7

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-relationships/202010/keeping-the-spark-alive-in-your-relationship