Coping with the Holidays After Loss

As Christians, we realize that the focus of our holidays is Jesus and His gift of salvation for us. Even as we keep this at the forefront of our minds, for most of us, the holidays also are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating.

How can you cope with the pain that the holidays can evoke after a loss?

Recognize You are Not Alone

Grieving a loss can be isolating. You may feel as though you are the only one experiencing great pain during the holiday season. Everywhere you turn, people seem to be happy, putting up decorations, buying gifts and making holiday plans. However, the truth is that you are not alone in how you're feeling. The holidays can be a difficult time for many due to grief and loss.

Honor Your Pain

You may feel pressure to pretend for others’ sake. Instead, lay that pressure at Jesus' feet and honor whatever emotions you may be experiencing, whether it’s sadness, anger, regret or a combination.

Take Your Time

The holidays are typically a busy time for people, with many events to host and/or attend. Know that you do not have to keep pace with those around you during this holiday season. Grieving a loss takes a great deal of mental, emotional, and even physical stamina. Take the time you need. Be selective with the activities you participate in.

Connect With Others in Need

One of the worst parts about losing a loved one is the feeling that we no longer have any control over our lives. Loss can make us feel helpless. One way to fight this feeling is to connect with others who are in need--perhaps someone also dealing with a recent loss. Joining a Grief Share group during the holidays can be particularly helpful. Connecting with others who are hurting can often be a salve to our hearts as well.

When Don’t These Guidelines Apply?

If you have children, it’s important to understand that they are looking to you right now to know what life will be like moving forward. Loss of a loved one can frighten a child terribly. Though you may not feel like celebrating the holidays, doing so helps your child know that life does go on and that there is space in your life to feel joy along with sadness.

If you have experienced loss and would like to explore grief counseling, please reach out to us. You don’t have to suffer alone.