Coping With Grief After Losing a Dream

Scripture acknowledges the value of our deeply-held dreams in verses such as Psalm 20:4 ESV: "May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans!"

But what happens when a dream we've clung to is not coming to pass or has passed us by?

Are you grieving a dream? Maybe you always imagined going to the college your parents attended, but you received a rejection letter after applying. Perhaps you pictured getting back together with a significant other, but you found out that they’ve moved on to someone else. Or maybe you dreamed of having a family, but you’re dealing with infertility.

Whatever the circumstances may be, the loss of a dream can lead to feelings of grief, potentially including disbelief, sadness, and anger. Here are some steps you can take to overcome your grief and heal from this loss:

• Give yourself time to grieve. People often think of grief only in terms of illness or death, but it’s certainly possible—and common—to grieve the loss of a dream. Take the time you need to process your feelings, and don’t let others minimize what you’re going through. God has unending patience, and He is not rushing you through your grieving process.

• Confide in a few trusted friends. Grief unmonitored can lead us to isolation, which only intensifies difficult feelings. Find a few trusted friends who will listen without judgment and also offer needed distraction.

• Be realistic. If a romantic partner has moved on, for example, focus on what led to your breakup in the first place. If you had conflicting personalities or beliefs, it may be for the best that you didn’t get back together.

• Consider alternatives. Your dream may still be possible, just not in the way you originally pictured. For instance, if you had dreamed of giving birth, you may still be able to create a family through surrogacy or adoption. God is such a creative God and can bring about something more beautiful than you had ever imagined.

Most importantly, take note of this quote by C.S. Lewis, the renowned author of “The Chronicles of Narnia”: “You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.”

We Can Help You Cope With Your Loss

If you’re healing from the loss of a dream, one of the best things you can do is speak to an experienced therapist. A therapist well trained in grief—like the ones at Covenant Counseling Center—will have unique insight into the way you may be feeling right now, and they can help guide you through your loss. Contact us today to learn more.