4 Ways to Improve Communication in Your Relationship

Ephesians 4:29 tells us, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." While this offers immense wisdom for marriage relationships, it can be difficult to practice when tensions are high or feelings are hurt.

All relationships go through their ups and downs. Much like you need to break down muscle to build it up stronger than it was before, many relationships can be strengthened by challenges, provided your communication is healthy.

Here are some ways to improve communication in your relationship:

1. Recognize the Change

It’s important to be open and honest with yourself and each other. Don’t deny that something has changed in your relationship; admit it openly. You may also need to recognize that each of you has changed over the years. None of us stays the same. Our wants, needs, passions, annoyances, etc. change as we mature and grow as individuals. Accommodating these changes begins with acknowledging them.

2. Validate Each Other’s Feelings

There are two words that are very powerful in communication, “Yes, and…” Effective communication is not about one person being right and the other wrong. Often, both people are right and/or have a different perspective of the same issue. Do not attack the other person or try to get them to compromise to your point of view. Instead, focus on simply being heard and hearing the other person.

3. Be Ready to Change

If you want to improve your communication as a means to get the other person to change their ways, you are thinking about this communication thing all wrong! Good communication is not about winning an argument. Your goal is to better share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, hopes and struggles with each other. Turn your focus from getting the other person to change and focus on how your own behavior could change.

4. Breathe

Managing your emotions is one of the most important skills when it comes to interpersonal interaction. How often are you ready to blow when you and your spouse or partner are speaking to each other? How does the communication break down once you or your partner have become emotional?

When communicating with your partner, or anyone, should you feel your emotions rise, stop, take a slow, deep breath, and let it out. Repeat until you are feeling significantly calmer. Taking the time you need to calm yourself is important and will help you not to say something you’ll regret or that will escalate the situation.

None of us are perfect. We are in a process of growth. Try following these communication tips and watch your relationship strengthen! If you need a guide along the way, reach out to Covenant Counseling Center. We would be happy to help.